Settling into summer, or at least an absence of school to completely preoccupy my time. Have been spending more time with Ms. Vanesa Saric (we went hiking in the White Mountains yesterday, the picture was taken by her in Crawford Notch) and settling out of the academic world for a little while. There are necessities yet taken care of, things that I can’t leave unchecked for too long. Meeting with a few employers tomorrow after getting a hair cut with Travis at 9:00am sharp. Need to get on top of the paperwork and loans for the Readers Theater Workshop in London this July, figure out what I’m going to be doing on the weekends as well. Sometimes it feels like I barely have my head above water before I see the next wave coming down on me. Luctor et emergo, I guess: I struggle and I emerge. Life just looks a lot different when you’re on the down part of the struggle working upwards.
All of this has really been getting to my mood lately. Needing to set things right and having big commitments looming down already is something I deal with, though poorly. I needed to get out, to make an accomplishment, to exert force. Having coffee with Vanesa on Saturday I asked her what she was doing the next day. She had no plans so, in that moment we decided to go hiking. I went home and in a half-hour had a trail picked out. We got up early the next morning and headed out.
There’s an amazing transition between perspectives when you climb a mountain. Driving into Crawford Notch and seeing the granite cliffs sweeping upward from the valley I got a distinctly dreadful feeling of doubt in my gut. I always have apprehension before climbing, no matter when. I get this nervous edge and it propels me up the mountain until suddenly, three hours later I’m on an outlook peering down into the valley below and barely able to see the car we arrived in. Suddenly it all reverses. You’re on top. When the worlds mesh it’s exhilarating. There’s this distinct feeling of accomplishment mixed with exhaustion that you cannot get anywhere else. It fills you.
I have no idea how I’m going to get all I need to get done in the 9 weeks I have until I get on the plane and leave for London. No idea, and nothing as complex as a long-term plan right now. Still, I know I can do it. Or at least I trust in my ability to pull it off.
Long term stunt. Like Ireland this past summer. Bit by bit and hopefully this will all work out.
I’ve got my passport. Who the hell knows.
[...] 17, 2008 Also, to make up for the time between Itinerary, and Retro-Active. Here is a chronological series of five photos to vaguely represent things of [...]