luctor et emergo

What is there to talk about in my life aside from what is creative? I hate “reflecting” upon things for the simple sake of reflection. There have to be reminders, things that tug at the truth underneath everything. Not necessarily a specific truth or a universal truth, but a silent book of experience on which to base my decisions on.

I’ve been reading Stephen Dunn’s New and Selected Poems 1974-1994. A book I really didn’t appreciate before when I was being taught by him at Stonecoast. He keeps bringing up this idea of letting a little cruelty into a life. Even if it’s just the impulse to open the windows on a dreary day. That idea of contrast, a certain harshness to sharpen the image of life. I agree with it.

I’ve been sleeping with the windows open a lot, I like the cold at night. Sometime soon I want to take a dip in the ocean, see if the cold can’t shake something out of my bones, to play with the thrill of this squishy organic life.

Taxes come back soon. I will have much food. I won’t feel so poor.