Na Istoku
March 10, 2008
Finally addressing Rilke’s statement…
I don’t think I must write, or act, or make music for that matter. The necessity isn’t there, and so the art isn’t either. For the longest time I’ve been striving to preserve these images I’ve had of myself of an artist. Images that I developed eight or nine years ago and have kept close to my person in an attempt to armor myself against the world. To prove my validity, to ensure I’d be remembered. I’m choosing my words very carefully here. I was going to state that I don’t think I’ve created something to be remembered by, but I know that’s subjective.
What I mean to say is that I don’t think I’ll be doing much acting, or writing, or music-making after I wrap up Grecci’s film project and Philadelphia Here I Come! for what I hope will be a very long time. Creation is a very intrinsic part of my life, so who knows what will happen after this May. I’ve been wanting to visit Split, Dubrovnik and the rest of Dalmatia for a long time, perhaps I’ll set aside time to do that this summer, spend a week on the Adriatic, eating, swimming, hiking, tasting wines. The dollar is still strong compared to the kune, so perhaps I won’t be at a disadvantage.
This isn’t about finding myself, this is a conscious decision on my part to stop.
I want purity of life, I’ve vulgarized one of the dearest things in my life because I’ve gone beyond necessity. I am beset upon all sides by various manufactures, people and institutions that I feel compelled to fabricate for, so I must refuse.
I want to be free.
March 13, 2008 at 10:30 am
Ian, across the many years I’ve known you, your capacity and enthusiasm for self-reflection has been a perennial inspiration to me. You’re more honest with yourself than anyone I know, and I do very much hope that honesty serves you as well in your more terrestrial/banal pursuits, down the line, as it seems to do in your mind.