luctor et emergo

I want to say, “No one listens,” but of course
some people do.

Really I should say “I want no one to talk”
that’s more to the heart of the matter.

The world opens it’s mouth, and we realize
how much of a boor it is. Or worse yet

that it thinks it’s an intellectual.
I hate the honesty of opinions

the cards-on-the-table ignorance
of a man who’ll give you his five cents

on this-and-that after hearing something
about it discussed on talk radio.

I want to stand in a field and bathe in silence
to not talk about the “fact” of the field

it’s “here-ness” or it’s “now” but
let the body respond to the dusk

and the movement of deer.
To hear the space between crashes on the seawall

how it sounds like breathing
as you’re swimming to shore.

What is there to talk about in my life aside from what is creative? I hate “reflecting” upon things for the simple sake of reflection. There have to be reminders, things that tug at the truth underneath everything. Not necessarily a specific truth or a universal truth, but a silent book of experience on which to base my decisions on.

I’ve been reading Stephen Dunn’s New and Selected Poems 1974-1994. A book I really didn’t appreciate before when I was being taught by him at Stonecoast. He keeps bringing up this idea of letting a little cruelty into a life. Even if it’s just the impulse to open the windows on a dreary day. That idea of contrast, a certain harshness to sharpen the image of life. I agree with it.

I’ve been sleeping with the windows open a lot, I like the cold at night. Sometime soon I want to take a dip in the ocean, see if the cold can’t shake something out of my bones, to play with the thrill of this squishy organic life.

Taxes come back soon. I will have much food. I won’t feel so poor.

“A graphic representation of data abstracted from banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding.”

—William Gibson, Neuromancer

Corey notified me that Discover just put out an interesting article on a visual representation of the Blogosphere, and upon looking at it I was instantly reminded of Gibson’s description of cyberspace in Neuromancer, specifically that last metaphor. Also there’s a similarity between that and some of my friend Jared’s early computer generated works. (I wish I had a link here.)

It was something I figured I’d share.