luctor et emergo

Working on a paper for Drama Lit. Reading The Master Builder by Ibsen, or Bygmester Solness as he originally titled it, which I think roughly translates from Norwegian as “Master Builder Solness” (the main characters last name) and is surprisingly different from the accepted English title.

I am unable to run with a topic tonight as well as I usually am and I’m stalling at around the fourth page. The paper is due at noon on Tuesday. I realize now I should have started it sooner.

My mind is wandering a great deal. Here are some thoughts:

SOLNESS: All I have managed to accomplish—all I have built for comfort and security and created in beauty—yes, and I dare say, even in grandeur… [All] this I now have to take into account and weigh carefully, and pay for in full—not with money but with human happiness. And not my own happiness, but the happiness of others as well. Yes, yes—you see what mean, Hilde! That this is the price I have had to pay for the position I hold in my profession—and that others have had to pay. And day in and day out I am reminded of the price that must be paid—over and over again—and ever again!

Note to self: This is the idea that Darwinian capitalism forces upon us. This thinking is why so many actors throw themselves upon the crucibles of New York and Los Angeles begging for a chance at prosperity and fame. There is a reflection of Solness’ tragedy in the idea that “you must separate yourself from your loved ones to become a truly great actor/artist.” This is an inconsistent falsehood that serves to cripple so many promising artists. By the same note those that would seek prosperity in the business world must constantly vie with this as well. Darwinian capitalism ends in misery, misery will seek to destroy what is greater than itself and so the whole thing collapses. I don’t know if this is a sub-conscious drive towards annihilation or the workings of some great morally-minded all-encompassing urge (aka: Whitehead’s “mind of God”) but it seems to be a form of truth: Misery will seek to destroy things greater than itself.