“‘The eyes of an unsuccessful rapist…’”
I was pressed down into the sand with Elle lying on my back, her head over my shoulder and reading quips—all sexual—from a book I was working through. Her head cast a big shadow over the pages and her skin was cold and salty from swimming. I could not tell if she was reading along or not but I was fond of the book and continued flipping pages despite the series of distractions. She kissed my neck gently two times and then once at the top of my ear.
“They’re watching us,” she said eyeing two older women father down on the beach.
“Probably a lot more interesting than what they’re reading.”
“Probably, yes. They’ve been watching us since I climbed on top of you.” She ended this with another kiss to the ear and this time her teeth lingered a bit.
“You’re awful friendly today.”
“Am I not usually friendly?”
“You are. You just seem to be making a particular effort today.”
“Mmm… I’m just a friendly person, I guess.” He shoulder picked up a covering of sand as she rolled back over to her towel. I turned my head to look at her.
“Plus I want to have sex.”
She wore large dark sunglasses that covered most of her face, dark brown, the color of the bottles we had brought in the bag. Through them you could barely tell she was looking up at the sky and the few fluffy clouds that passed overhead. She had a far away distant look; the kind of look people only get in their eyes when they assume that no one can see them.
“You’re very beautiful,” I said. It was not a lie.
“Thanks.”
“We’ll leave early.”
“Not to early. I like it here.”
“I need to get back in town before it gets to late.”
“Town can wait.” She looked at me and raised her glasses, shielding her eyes with an outstretched sun. “We’ll go back a half hour early.”
“That’s fine with me,” I said and let the conversation run out. She pulled her sunglasses back down and looked back up at the sky and got that distant look in her eyes once more before closing them. I watched her for a few moments and a cloud passed in the reflection of those glasses. I picked my book back up and began reading again. The silence was nice. I enjoyed that I didn’t feel I had to entertain.
“When is your next show?” she asked without opening her eyes.
“October.”
“I’ll be gone by then.”
“Yes.”
“Why Hemmingway all the sudden? What happened to that other writer you were reading? The Turkish one.”
“I got side-tracked. Besides it’s good beach reading. It’s light, compact.”
“What was he doing with those two girls?” Her eyes opened again. She picked some sand from her stomach and flung it off.
“Nothing. Flirting mostly I guess in the way that you flirt with two young pretty girls.”
“He had sex with them though…”
“No. Not that he wrote down anyway.”
“Oh.”
“He may have. But it’s Pascine that he is writing about—having sex with them.”
“Oh, I get it now.”
“Either way he’s married in this book and the book was published by the wife he had at the time, so there may have been editing. I think Hemmingway was more of a gentleman than that though.”
“A gentleman?” Elle rolled onto her stomach. Her lightly freckled shoulder still had a slight covering of multicolored sand. The little flecks of feldspar, mica and quartz looked like a small fresco and clung decoratively to her.
“Well one would hope that if he did sleep with them that he wouldn’t go and brag about in his writings,” I said and brushed a little of the fresco off her arm. “But it’s always possible.”
“Do you think a man would go and do that?”
“It might be something to preserve. There’s always some strange part that loves those animal truths.”
“Hmm…” Elle pursed her lips and looked at me.
“It’s the monkey genes,” it was my best offering.
“So you’re saying maybe women are a little bit more evolved than men?”
“Or just that men have the most fun when they de-evolve themselves.”
There was a silence and Elle seemed to mull something over in her head. Not know if I had said the wrong thing I paused too and watched her. She pulled a reed out from the nearby sand and rolled it over once before flinging it off to the wind. A seagull, thinking the reed was food, lighted nearby and strolled up to it. I kissed Elle lightly on the shoulder and my lips picked up some of the sand. I placed my head up to hers and she cocked hers slightly to the side to rest it against mine before settling into a comfortable position to nap.
“I like the sun,” she offered. Then, after a pause: “I love Ocean Park, too.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s too bad I’m going to miss your show.”
“Yeah.”
I moved the brown piece of paper I was using as a bookmark forward and put the book down. Elle lay in the sun and seemed to be at a relative peace with herself. It was the first real week of summer in Maine and also the first week in August. In October she would leave for the west coast and I did not think that I would see her again. There was some mute fear that came with knowing that we could not do this forever. She was pretty and I had allowed myself to get quite infatuated with her. In the end the future was unavoidable and Elle was not a woman to negotiate with over her freedom. Perhaps because of all this I had developed a perverse sense of frankness.
“I’m going to go to Istanbul,” I said.
“Really? When?” Elle brought her head back up.
“April, maybe. Or May.”
“For how long?”
“It depends on what I can afford. David will be there too and his wife.”
“How do you know that?”
“I was talking with them the other night about it and it came up. I was planning to go to Istanbul around that time anyways.” A good portion of the last sentence was a lie, but it was enough to set it in stone right now. I wanted to go and might as well set a date.
“Well that should be cool. Istanbul was a fun city,” Elle had already taken a year off to travel through Europe and we had talked about it before.
“I hope it still is,” I said.
Elle reached out her hand and I took it. She squeezed my hand slightly and I squeezed back. Casually she let the back of her fingertips caress my arm before she placed her hand back by her side. Her face was silent, sealed in the patient sereneness of someone basking in the first real week of sun. Not knowing what else to do I folded my arms up as a pillow and settled in for a nap beside her.
“Hemmingway not able to keep you focused?” she laughed to herself absently.
I laughed and closed my eyes. There was a lot to do, I would have to start learning lines for the show in October which was to begin rehearsal shortly and would have to see about getting food stamps to avoid having to scrape for rent at the end of each month. All of those things could be saved for later though. This day was to be given to the beach and the sun and to whomever I chose to read for my enjoyment. I extended my arm out and touched elbows with Elle. Her skin was no longer chilly; all the seawater had evaporated. I fantasized about the taste of salt on her and the slight smell of lotion. Another seagull landed and the two talked silently to each other as they patrolled. The waves continued to roll in and in the silence a wind picked up and dusted us with a few small grains of sand.
I picked my head up and kissed Elle above the tie on the back of her turquoise bathing suit, licked the salt on my lips and made two slower kisses ascending her spine. Her skin was warm now and hot on my lips. She rolled over slightly, her lips were cooler than mine and tasted faintly of the olives we had brought. Her glasses were on top of her head and when she opened her eyes I had almost forgotten how blue they were. I know of few people who have possessed eyes as vibrant as those.
One of the seagulls ventured closer and Elle shifted her gaze and raised her arms to shoo it. The bird responded to the letter of the gesture and took two very small steps back and continued to watch. We both looked out at the rest of the beach that stretched from the relative peace and emptiness of our area to the mob up towards Old Orchard. The Ferris wheel by the pier looked miniature as it turned slowly in the sun and a wave sounded briefly like the rush of voices in that far off crowd.
“That seagull is on to us,” said Elle.
“His friend is too,” I noted pointing at the other one farther off. I could not see the other ladies that had shared the beach with us that had been so interested in Elle and I before. Which was for the better. I slid my hand onto Elle’s back.
“No one around us. Want to give the seagulls a good show?”
She laughed and pushed me over onto my back. The sun was bright and sharp. I held up a hand to avert it and gazed a little at the clouds overhead. I was happy and in that moment became aware of my happiness. I smiled and for a few seconds tried to amuse myself by deciding what shapes the clouds were taking. I truly thought about nothing until Elle asked what time it was.
“Time to stay a little longer,” I said. The clouds I decided were not looking anything more than little sheep.
“Weren’t you the one that said you needed to be back in town?”
“I did. But it doesn’t matter. Do you still want to have sex?”
“Umm… yes,” Elle encircled my hand with hers.
I took her hand and squeezed her fingers lightly. “Good,” I said. “But let’s wait a little longer. Summer’s gone soon. We should enjoy it while it lasts.”
